


keep it on the inside this time (month three)

by Hanaasbananas



Series: Going Through The Motions [3]
Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Nightmares, introspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 17:41:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20709968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hanaasbananas/pseuds/Hanaasbananas
Summary: he squirms away from her as she weeps great gasping sobs, hatred burning in his eyes. “You are the most despicable woman I’ve ever met.”Constance has a nightmare





	keep it on the inside this time (month three)

_There is blood on her hands. There is blood on her hands, and someone is wailing. Someone is wailing and it is her. It is her pressing down on D’Artagnan as he lays dying, his eyes wide and frightened, hand twitching over his stomach. “Constance we-” he pants, trying again "we are damned for love.”_

_Bonacieux looms over her, nowhere and everywhere all at once, surrounding her, trapping her, his voice echoing around them. “This is all your fault Constance” a blood-soaked dagger falls at her feet. “You drove me to this”_

_She weeps over D’Artagnan, ripping her skirt to shreds so she can bandage his wounds and he reaches for her hands, stilling them. He brings her hand to his chest, laying it flat where she can feel the faltering thump-a-thump-a-thump of his heart. “This was yours and look what you have done” he squirms away from her as she weeps great gasping sobs, hatred burning in his eyes. “You are the most despicable woman I’ve ever met.”_

_“Constance” Bonacieux is calling her but she can’t go, not yet, she has to keep D’Artagnan alive. It doesn’t matter, she’ll let the baker’s daughter have him, she’ll let anyone at him if only he would _live_! She scrabbles towards him on her knees, rags clutched in her fist but is yanked backwards, Bonacieux’s voice irritated as he pulls her away, out of the darkened street and-_

She jerks awake, shrinking away from Bonacieux’s face above her. “Finally,” he gripes “I couldn’t sleep at all with that racket you were making”

“I-I’m sorry”

He only grunts in response, turning his back to her and settling down again, the dismissal clear. Her night terror is still fresh in her mind, even as her heartbeat settles back into it’s steady rhythm and she rises, going to scrub at her hands until she can hardly feel them, as though it will get rid of the sensation of warm blood coating her fingers.

(It doesn’t.)

The dreams have been coming more and more often, several times a night, and they take even longer to forget, her mind repeating D’Artagnan’s words over and over until she can scarcely hear herself think and yet…she craves them, nonetheless.

Because it is still his voice.

Twisted and _hurting_ and telling her what she deserves to hear, but she doesn’t mind because it is all she has left of him.

In her heart, she knows he would never say such things; knows that if he ever found out about her deal with Bonacieux he would burst into her house ready to confront him with the same fervour he fought three against one his first day in Paris.

But D’Artagnan is no match for the Cardinals machinations and she cannot, _will not_ let him die. Not while there is still air in her lungs; when she can trade her breaths for his.

Constance watches Bonacieux for a moment, willing herself to become accustomed to the sight as she hears him begin to snore lightly. She can’t imagine D’Artagnan cares a whit for her any more-if the way he flirted with the baker’s daughter is any indication- and this is her life now.

She must learn to accept it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you guys so much for the feedback! I honestly didn't expect much considering the shows been over for years now, but I'm really glad to see that people are enjoying these ficlets, and I love reading about what you liked about each one. Like I said last week, new ones will be posted every Friday.


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